I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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