I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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