it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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