wrigley field is MILF paradise
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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