wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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