I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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