I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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