Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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