So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
40s are totally the cure
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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