Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
