I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize