the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
