You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
