I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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