We named our party play list daddy issues
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
