TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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