I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
