i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
