u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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