i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
