it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
