i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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