we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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