He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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