so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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