He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
