Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
