Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
