My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Never joke about your clitoris.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
