I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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