so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
