i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
