I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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