Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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