Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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