eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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