i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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