I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Quick, to the slutcave!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Found the puke drawer
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
