My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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