This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
