Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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