I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
