I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
