they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
