Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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