With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
