Kiss
Puke
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
