her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
