the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
