Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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