he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
