People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
