Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize