how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
