I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
