May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
our cab driver is having phone sex.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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