If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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