allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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