I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
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Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
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Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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