I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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