Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My balls are so social today.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
