thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize